Excruciating Minutia Concerning Your Favorite Uncle,
World-Wide Conspiracy and K-Pop Superstar…
People trust you when you show your hands in your photos. Right? RIGHT?!?!
So, this is where you’re supposed to write some self-aggrandizing thing where you talk about all the shit you’ve done in your life.
Truth is – I’m not the guy I was 10 seconds ago, let alone who I was 20 years ago.
I’m here, I’m now – and what I am NOW is a fuck of a lot more relevant to why you would or wouldn’t want to work with me.
So, here goes…
Things I Am
I’m a husband to one amazing artist and father to our 5 amazing kids.
They come first. Always.
I’m an art freak.
I have a passion for art and art history and collect and love low-brow art. My office is overflowing with paintings and prints and weird little things I’ve picked up. It inspires me.
I’m an artist.
I produce art and design and branding ideas and weird marketing schemes in my spare time (and in my “work” time.) It’s just what I do. I’d do it (and I DO do it) even if I didn’t get paid to do it. I’m a brand and design and art guy. I’ve done it for 30 years now. I’ll do it until I die.
I’m an Ordained Minister.
I can legally marry and bury you in all 50 states.
Seriously… CLICK HERE to check out my wife’s amazing work.
Things I’m Not
I’m not insane, and I’m not stupid.
Yeah – I do some things that leave others in my field scratching their heads, but I do these things because I know from experience that they work for me – and that they work for the folks I work well with.
I’m not going to sell you shit you don’t need.
If I don’t think we’re a fit or that you won’t benefit from what I have to offer, we’ll part ways as friends (or whatever.) This kind of goes back to the thing above – it’s gotta work for you AND for me. If we don’t work, we don’t work – and no amount of money’s going to fix it.
I’m not getting paid to be nice – I’m getting paid to be effective as fuck.
Once you get beyond my bitter, aging punk shell you’ll find a really nice dude who wants to help other nice people. But at the same time, we all live in the real world where results matter. If stepping on a toe here and there is called for, I owe it to the people I work with to step on those toes. Dig?