You’re Playing the
Wrong Game

Yawn & Cope - It's About Killing Brand Joy

You know the graphics are lame. You know the story is lame.

You keep on playing – even though nobody else wants to.

Maybe you thought it was was good once.

These days… Boring. Tired. Tiring.

Time for a switch.

YOU NEED TO PLAY

BRANDPOCALYPSE
NOW!

Playing a boring game with your brand makes you boring and boring brands attract boring customers and boring customers are boring.

Play BRANDPOCALYPSE!

The game of visual ZING messaging ZAP and marketing POW.

Want a brand that’s interesting and an audience that you just love to take money from? GET BRANDPOCALYPSE!

BRANDPOCALYPSE™

I know you’ll ask, so here’s

WHAT YOU GET

  • A FULL BRAND & BRANDING AUDIT

    The eyeballs and brain of a 30 year veteran of the branding, design and marketing world will run all over every aspect of your brand. Logos, color, words, websites (even SEO,) social media, content. I’ll check everything you have for consistency, clarity and messaging. I’ll note any “negatives” or confusing things I find and come up with an actionable plan to fix it, bolster it and clarify what you’re trying to do. A $750 value ALL DAY LONG

  • ONE-ON-ONE CONSULT

    We’ll go over my findings on your brand and branding. I’ll provide actionable advice, tips, links and resources to fix what ails your brand. We’ll also discuss anywhere you’re struggling with your brand – from mindset to mechanics. No holds barred – I will tell you what you need to do, even if it hurts your feelings or offends your designer. That’s another $750.

  • LOGO & BRANDING REFINEMENT

    I’ll take your current logo and clean it up and into the exacting standards of JimboApproved™, vectorize it and give you a package of a variety of formats and colorways. I’ll provide you with a color palette (based on your current branding & my advice) to simplify the process of creating on-brand design collateral. I’ll hand you resources that will make your brand (and branding) easier, faster, better and EXPLOSIVE. BOOM – another $750.

  • NOTHINGTOBRAND

    You’ll have full access to NOTHINGTOBRAND, which will bolster and support everything we talk about and SO much more. Click here to get just SOME of the details. According to every member of NTB, this course alone is worth at least $1000. Some even say $10k – for just the first week.

BANG! Only

$1000

You know it’s time. Open the bomb bay. You’re over the target…

BLOW YOUR BRAND TO SMITHEREENS!!!

That’s a really big button, by the way. You should click it.

I’m asking you to spend $1000.

ANY QUESTIONS?

I’d be happy to sell you over a Zoom call. Get on my calendar – and hurry.

My docket fills up quick. I may yank this offer at any time. I want to devote my attention to the people I work with, and I’m not going to onboard a bunch of folks and get overwhelmed and have my work suffer. Just not doing it.

This is a limited offer – and I only have 5 spaces available monthly.

This carpet-bombing of value may not come again – and if it does, you can bet your sweet ass the warheads will be a lot harder to get your hands on.

Not false scarcity – just the truth, blowing your ass up.

No bullshit. Ask me questions – I’ve got the answers.

Whisk your brand away in fire for just

$1000

Maybe You’ve Already Heard Enough. Skip The Call and…

GET BRANDPOCALYPSE NOW!!!

That’s not quite as large as the button above, but you still wanna click it, don’t you?

I’m good at what I do with good people…

People Talking About Me

I’ve worked with some marvelous people.

You scrolled this far. You know it sounds like something you need.

JUST BUY IT

Still on the fence? Let’s schedule a call, or I can send you to some people who will tell you to jump on this before it blows up in my face and I regret giving away $4,000+ worth of the good shit for an eighth of the price.

I’ve been doing this for brands, large and small, for longer than some of y’all have been alive.

Now it’s your turn.

You Know You’re Ready. Click to

BLOW YOUR BRAND OFF THE MAP

Megatons of Brand Lovin’ for

$1000

Another button. The last button. Stop scrolling and just click it.

Gamhain Eiercode GmbH

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James PM Gaffney and Uncle Jimbo™ is a wholly owned subsidiary of Gamhain Eiercode GmbH, operating under licensed emotional-temporal distortion protocols. All creative output is monitored for lattice compliance.

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