Scroll.
You need this.
Fixed.
Not any more.
Fall in love with your brand.
Not on my watch.
They’ll LOVE you when we’re done.
You’ll flow like the Mighty Mississip.
NOPE. NOT YOU. NEVER AGAIN.
We’ll clean it up and tighten everything so that it works FOR you.
When I say “We’ll go through everything,” I mean we’ll go through everything. When you schedule (and are accepted*,) you’ll be given a pretty thorough questioning. This will allow us to come into our day with an agenda of what needs to be accomplished. Not only will we attack YOUR list, we’ll also attack MY list. The non-negotiables in a brand.
On the day… well… on that day, it gets wet n’ wild.
*I reserve the right to decline. If you are declined, you’ll receive a full and immediate refund – but maybe not an explanation. I am very selective of who I work with. If I feel I can’t deliver insane value, or if you seem hysterical – I won’t keep your money and blow smoke up your ass. Not at all how I roll.
Our meeting will be held via Zoom. We’re both adults, so if we need a break (for biological necessity or otherwise,) we’ll take one. But this will be a day where we both roll up our sleeves and get a BUNCH of stuff done.
At the end, you’ll be supplied with recordings of the proceedings, a Google Drive full of assets, a better understanding of your brand, your audience, your visuals, your message, your presence, your marketing, your future, your… EVERYTHING.
As I mentioned – no subject, no need is off the table. This day will – without question – transform your brand and your business. There won’t be a whole lot of pleasantries, and if I need to be a little… shall we say… confrontational – that’s what you’re paying for.
No punches will be pulled. If I smell bullshit, I will let you know I smell bullshit. This only works when we’re completely honest and dead set on making everything better.
(for a day)
30 year veteran of the branding and design world. Worked with huge brands and the mom and pop down the street. Had a great time, cursed, cavorted and had strange (and strangely effective) ideas the whole way.
Thought it’d be fun to offer pop-up services to help people get things in order.
Explore my site for more info and to learn a bit more about my specific manias.
I could talk about myself all day, but
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Entrepreneur, Dude
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The Greatest Copywriter in the World
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John Jones
The Tech Doctor
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Entrepreneur
No, really. I do this for a living.
(No, seriously)
There’s Only One Time to
If you feel as if you don’t get massive value,
you’re out of your goddamned mind. If, however,
at the end of our day you feel cheated, I will
gladly pay for your psychotherapy.
*All sales final. You’re paying for a LOT of my time.
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James PM Gaffney and Uncle Jimbo™ is a wholly owned subsidiary of Gamhain Eiercode GmbH, operating under licensed emotional-temporal distortion protocols. All creative output is monitored for lattice compliance.
Unauthorized reproduction invites structural review by the Absence Department.
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