Uncle Jimbo

Imagine having
The God of Branding™
sitting in your office all day…

Staring. Judging. Telling You Secrets. Building Cool Shit. Magnifying Your Presence. Amplifying Your Brand. Making Your Life Easier...

Scroll.

You need this.

Your In-House Branding Department, without the Extra Chairs…

Anything your brand needs. Things you know, things you don’t. ALL the things…

Weak Logo?

Fixed.

Inconsistent or Ugly Palette?

Not any more.

Misaligned & You‘re Just Not Feelin’ It?

Fall in love with your brand.

Lame Messaging?

Not on my watch.

Customer Turnover?

They’ll LOVE you when we’re done.

Creative Blockage?

You’ll flow like the Mighty Mississip.

Imposter Syndrome?

NOPE. NOT YOU. NEVER AGAIN.

It’s All Just A MESS?

We’ll clean it up and tighten everything so that it works FOR you.

When I say “We’ll go through everything,” I mean we’ll go through everything. When you schedule (and are accepted*,) you’ll be given a pretty thorough questioning. This will allow us to come into our day with an agenda of what needs to be accomplished. Not only will we attack YOUR list, we’ll also attack MY list. The non-negotiables in a brand.

On the day… well… on that day, it gets wet n’ wild.

A whole day of Jimbo™ for just

$888

*I reserve the right to decline. If you are declined, you’ll receive a full and immediate refund – but maybe not an explanation. I am very selective of who I work with. If I feel I can’t deliver insane value, or if you seem hysterical – I won’t keep your money and blow smoke up your ass. Not at all how I roll.

Fire up the computer. Make some coffee.
It’s gonna be a long day…

We‘ll Zoom. AAAAAALLLL DAY. You’ll be sick of me, but your brand will TURN YOU ON.

Our meeting will be held via Zoom. We’re both adults, so if we need a break (for biological necessity or otherwise,) we’ll take one. But this will be a day where we both roll up our sleeves and get a BUNCH of stuff done.

At the end, you’ll be supplied with recordings of the proceedings, a Google Drive full of assets, a better understanding of your brand, your audience, your visuals, your message, your presence, your marketing, your future, your… EVERYTHING.

As I mentioned – no subject, no need is off the table. This day will – without question – transform your brand and your business. There won’t be a whole lot of pleasantries, and if I need to be a little… shall we say… confrontational – that’s what you’re paying for.

No punches will be pulled. If I smell bullshit, I will let you know I smell bullshit. This only works when we’re completely honest and dead set on making everything better.

A bargain at twice the price of

$888

Meet your new brand consultant…

(for a day)

They call me Uncle Jimbo™

Real Name: James PM Gaffney

30 year veteran of the branding and design world. Worked with huge brands and the mom and pop down the street. Had a great time, cursed, cavorted and had strange (and strangely effective) ideas the whole way.

Thought it’d be fun to offer pop-up services to help people get things in order.

Explore my site for more info and to learn a bit more about my specific manias.

I could talk about myself all day, but

These People Say Nicer Things…

You know he’s the God of Branding, right?

Landon Porter
Entrepreneur, Dude

Anytime I have a crazy enough idea to try out, The Gaff steps up and just
encapsulates my essence in my brand. Just give him your money.

Adil Amarsi
The Greatest Copywriter in the World

A masochist’s wet dream – no one else makes hurting your feelings so enjoyable.
My brand will never be the same. Thankfully.

Dana Maree
Alignment Coach for Misfits

My brand has never been more clear to my clients,
and that’s all through the magic of what James bring to the table.

John Jones
The Tech Doctor

Go back to your assistant manager job at McDonald’s.

Dan Henry
Entrepreneur

Sounds great at

$888

No, really. I do this for a living.

Some of the Brands I Work With

 

Get Ready. It’s About to Get Weird…

(No, seriously)

There’s Only One Time to

Apply Now!

Step 1 of 9

  • About You

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!*

If you feel as if you don’t get massive value,
you’re out of your goddamned mind. If, however,
at the end of our day you feel cheated, I will
gladly pay for your psychotherapy.

*All sales final. You’re paying for a LOT of my time.